Wireless Waffle - A whole spectrum of radio related rubbish

The Vl'hurgs and the G'gugvunttssignal strength
Wednesday 31 March, 2010, 03:11 - Amateur Radio
Posted by Administrator
Having seen this... the following somehow came immediately to mind...
It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.

For instance, at the very moment that it was concluded that 'economically speaking, short-wave listening wins hands down' a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the quasi-scientific continuum and carried these words far far across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant office where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of a frightful regulatory battle.

The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time.

vl hurg g gugvunttA dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the RSGB, resplendent with his black jewelled battle antenna, gazed levelly at the Ofcom leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of sweet-smelling spectrum smog, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed lawyers poised to unleash legal hell at his single word of command, challenged the creature to take back what it had said about his latest report on the applicability of EN55022.

The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words, 'economically speaking, short-wave listening wins hands down' drifted across the conference table.

Unfortunately, in the Ofcom tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war.

Eventually, of course, after the bureaucracy in their swish London offices had been decimated, it was realised that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle forces settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on Comtrend - now positively identified as the source of the original offence.

For thousands more pounds the mighty forces tore across the empty wastes of the Earth and finally dived screaming on to the first factory in China they came across - where due to a terrible miscalculation of emissions the entire battle force was taken to court for breaching the local EMC regulations and locked up in a prison for the ensuing millennia.

Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect in the history of the the radio spectrum say that this sort of thing is going on all the time, but that we are powerless to prevent it.

'It's just life,' they say.

With respect to Douglas Adams
add comment ( 1807 views )   |  permalink   |   ( 3.2 / 64947 )


<<First <Back | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | Next> Last>>